Baby Tour 2014: Days 4-7 (Prescott, AZ)

The drive from Las Vegas to Prescott was familiar and fairly short to the jaunts we took earlier in our trip. Lily slept most of the way and we only had to stop once to feed and change her.

We reached Mamaw & Pampaw's home about 3pm on Monday and Lily was instantly attached. It was as if she had known them this whole time! She even cried when Mamaw left the room a couple times.

On Tuesday, Chris, Lily & I went into town to visit the Sharlot Hall museum. It was a wonderful way to spend our morning! The volunteers who run the exhibits were very knowledgeable and obviously passionate about the history of Arizona, particularly Prescott. Chris made his delicious Chicken Parmesan for dinner that night.

Wednesday was a day for relaxing and prepping for the remainder of our trip. I spent te day re-packing while Chris helped Mamaw and Pampaw with a couple things. Later on, Lily stayed with her great grandparents while Chris and I made a Costco run and took the car to be washed. It was nice to have a moment alone together, even if it was to run errands.

Thursday came too soon and we said our goodbyes. It broke my heart to take Lily from them, but we have more places to go and people to see! 

By late afternoon we were in Cathedral City visiting my friend, Crystal & her two kids. It was nice catching up, but before long, we were off to Palm Springs for dinner with Chris's aunt Linda and her husband, also Chris. 

We ate at an authentic Mexican restaurant on Indian Canyon Drive, the original Las Consuela. It was AMAZING! I had prawn & mushroom stuffed yellow chilis covered in melted jack chees... So good! After dinner we walked through Villiage fest and looked at all the cool pieces of art for sale. 

It was nearly 10pm when we finally set out for Anaheim. Luckily, this meant there was very little traffic and we made it in wonderful time. I'm currently here in our room at the Castle Inn & Suites - right across from Disneyland. Tomorrow will be exciting! I doubt I will have time to update again until Saturday. Until then... :)

Baby Tour 2014: Day 3/4 (Viva Las Vegas)

We arrived in Vegas around 5:30pm and thought we'd come in on the strip. By the time we made it to the Excalibur we decided to park and grab dinner before heading to our hotel. We parked at the New York, New York and ate at the Sporting House where they had a $17.95 Sunday night special for Prime Rib... It was amazing! Even better, when we went to pay we found it had been covered by a friend we ran into while there! 

After a short walk we headed to our room at the 4 Queens on Fremont Street. We cruised the strip to get there and were very frustrated with the difficulty in finding their parking garage! It took around an hour to wiggle our way through taxi cabs and your busses.

When we finally arrived we dropped off our luggage, changed Lily into pajamas and headed outside. Our room was much nicer than expected. It turned out to be a suite! The hotel itself was really disappointing. 

Fremont street was like one big, crazy party! I had expected things to be mellow compared to the strip, but it actually seemed rowdier! There were even women dressed as naked nuns... Bizarre! Walking down the street, people kept stopping to look at Lily. A couple of Japanese women even stopped to take her picture! We tried to make it into the Golden Gate before we were stopped by security and told we couldn't walk through with Lily. He said "but MY GOD is she BEAUTIFUL!!! That baby needs to be on TV!" 

We had another early start and grabbed some breakfast at Denny's.  Lily had small pieces of blue berry pancakes and chunks of banana. Chris asked her, "would you like some banana?" She replied "baaaa nananana!!!" Then while she ate it she would say "mmmm banananana!" So cute! After breakfast we loaded the car and headed out. 

Next stop... Prescott, AZ where Lily will meet her great Mamaw & Pampaw! 

Baby Tour 2014: Day 3 (Vegas, Baby!)

I was up at 6:30 this morning to feed Lily. Rather than going back to sleep, she was wide awake and ready to play. After she gulped down her bottle, I set her in the pack n' play with some toys and got to packing everything up.

We were checked out and on the road by 8:30am - coffee in hand! We fueled up at the local Costco, and soon after getting on the freeway, Lily was out (yay!). 50 miles later, we realized we missed our turn off! We were headed northeast instead south! It's all good though, we took the next turn we found and got back in line with our route. (What's a road trip without a little mishap to keep things memorable?)

Along the way we saw steam rising out if the desert from hot springs, a stellar view of the mountains and a beautiful body of water, Walker Lake. We made a quick pit stop on a gorgeous tree lined road in Fallon called Dodger Lane. I love taking road trips. You don't get to see these things if you're in a plane. 

We stopped for lunch in Tonopah. It was a refreshing 45 minute break. A little ways out of Tonopah was Goldfield, a tiny little ghost town in the Yucca mountain area. The homes were actual shacks with cars parked out front. The shells of what were once stores and motels dotted the area. It was really pretty sad, but kind of beautiful. 

Lily has been such a great little traveler thus far... She only cries when she is hungry or needs changed. Otherwise, she is playing with her toys, talking to her doll, or sleeping soundly.

*** We made it to Vegas! Will update in the morning :)***

Baby Tour 2014: Day 2 (Circus! Circus!)

***If you haven't read my previous 2 posts, you might want to do so before reading this one.***

We pulled in to the Circus Circus parking garage in Reno at exactly 6:00pm. Lily was so fascinated by all of the lights, mirrors, colors and people that she didn't know where to look. She kept bouncing in my arms and squealing with joy. She made friends everywhere we went. 

After hauling the massive amount of stuff to our room (ok - Chris did this part. Not me!) we had dinner and walked around the hotel. I like the fact that the Silver Legacy and the Eldorado are connect to the Circus Circus. We got the chance to see a few places in Reno in a short amount of time with out ever stepping foot outside. It was nice because Lily slept in her stroller while we walked and we weren't bound to our hotel room. By 9pm I was ready for bed. We went upstairs and got Lily settled. Chris went to explore the casino a bit more and play some black jack... He came back to the room $20 richer!

The funniest thing about walking around was the mixed reactions to Chris's Seahawks hat and T-shirt. One woman said she was very happy for our team. All though she was a broncos fan, she felt Seattle was due for their Super Bowl win. Not 2 minutes after walking away from her, a man stopped us and said "49'rs Baby! You lucky you pushin a stroller guy!" A few minutes after that encounter another man said "Hawks fan, huh? Niners all the way! But what're you gonna do? That NFC West championship game was a great game and their both awesome teams." Pretty fun (and a little scary at times) to hear the different opinions. 

***Day 3 to come soon!***

Baby Tour 2014: Day 1

After months of planning , the day arrived... Our first family vacation! We must have lost our minds, because we decided to travel thousands of miles, through 5 states in a car - with an 8 month old! Needless to say, this won't be an easy feat, and so far it's.... Okay.

A day sooner I finished packing our bags, filled up the gas tank, and took the car to be washed. After wrapping everything up with work and lying Lily down for her morning nap, I loaded the car and soon, we were off! 

We had to first stop at Costco to pick up my brand new prescription sunglasses. It's so nice to see! After that and a bite from the food court, we took highway 18 to I-5 South. It took about 2 hours before one of us felt like our bladder would burst. We pulled over at a rest area near Longview, WA to use the facilities and let Lily have some play time. She was more interested in the lilac bush and the little asteraceae flowers than anything else. 

As we crossed over the bridge into Oregon I took pictures of Lily entering a state outside of her home for her first time (I know - it's a little over the top!) Then came the Portland traffic... This part set us back 3 hours.

Eventually, we made it to Eugene where filled up our gas tank and ate dinner at the ever so fancy - Taco Bell. I wouldn't even be writing about our dinner in this entry, except for the fact that something pretty awesome happened as I fed Lily her bananas and squash. This lovely couple had been commenting on how cute our daughter was. They said their grandson is the same age and for some reason she just reminded them of him. As they were walking out, they laid a $20 bill on our table and told us to enjoy our next meal in them. We thanked them for their generosity while in shock - and they left. We don't know their names or their story, but it was nice to see something so selfless. 

A few hours later we turned off of the freeway onto a scenic byway that would lead us to our destination. We reached the little town of Shady Cove, nestled in the woods along the Rogue River near 11:00pm. We checked into our room at the Edgewater Inn and settled in for the night..... (To be continued)

Baby Tour 2014: Day 2 (The Road to Reno)

After arriving at our hotel so late last night, we were exhausted and ready to sleep... Not Lily! She wanted to play. I can't blame the poor girl... After all, it had been 10 hours since we left our home.

We fed her, changed her, put her in her pajamas and let her play on the floor with her toys until she was sleepy again. There was room in the hallway near the bathroom for Lily's pack n' play, which made it easy to put her down with her monkey and glow worm. We all got a fairly good night's sleep and were pretty impressed with everything about the hotel. 

The continental breakfast wasn't anything special, but it worked well for us. Bagels with cream cheese, pastries, fresh fruit, juice and coffee. We didn't stay for long after showering and getting ready for the day. I re-stocked the diaper bag while Chris re-loaded the car. We were on the road to Crater Lake by 10:00am. 

Lily slept the whole way to the park. The scenery was beautiful - lush green forests, snow piled high along the dry roads, tons of deer and other wildlife. It was about 45 degrees when we arrived at Rim Villiage. We hiked up a short snow bluff with Lily in the Baby Bjorne to see the lake. It was beautiful. Bright, colbalt blue glacier waters surrounded by snow covered banks. We stayed long enough to snap some photos, then we headed to the gift shop for lunch. After some sandwiches for us, some apricots for Lily & a couple souvenirs from the gift shop, we were on our way once again. 

We planned to stop in Kalamath Falls, but Lily was sound asleep, so we pushed through the California border, where we immediately saw the biggest dust devil I've ever seen, followed by a tumbling tumble weed.  We drove until we reached Adin, since Lily was content playing in her car seat. The town was small, with a population of 276. The only place to stop was a little general store where the patrons gave us dirty looks for - what we can only assume is - wearing our Seahawks gear in Niners country. Ha ha. After a quick diaper change (on a changing mat, on top of the bags in the trunk of the car) and a re-up on cold beverages, we were back on the road. Of course, 15 miles down twisty, turny, worn-out roads, and our precious Lily was screaming. After singing "Lily had a little lamb" wayyyy too many times, we found a safe place to stop and pull over. I got into the backseat with her and she was perfectly happy once again. We made it all the way to Reno, just like this!

***Read my upcoming blog post for more on Reno and our stay at the Circus Circus***

Bad Mom (Part 2)

Picking up where I left off with my previous post, "Bad Mom (Part 1)", giving Lily her first bottle was both a blessing and a curse....

On the positive side, when she took a bottle I could see how many ounces she was drinking.  I knew she got enough.  Also, her dad could feed her too, which gave me some time for much needed naps. (It's not easy recovering from surgery in general, add to that no sleep and you've got a recipe for disaster.)

Anytime we were home, I would breast feed Lily until she decided she was done and then pump.  I knew that this was a good way to build supply.  At our bedtime she would take a bottle from her daddy while I would pump.  I would still take all of the night feedings and "top her off" with the bottle if she was still hungry after being offered both breasts twice.

A HUGE problem I had was that I couldn't feed her in public, or even when we had people over.  I have always been very shy, but I thought I could get over it for my baby.  I couldn't.  I tried... I would put on the nursing cover, unstrap my bra, get Lily positioned and then as soon as I would start to get the nipple shield in place, everything would fall apart.  The shield would wind up in the wrong spot, I'd end up with a blister, and Lily would end up screaming.  I kept thinking, this will be a LOT easier without the nipple shield!  I still think it would have, but that would never happen.  Even if everything worked out great and I got her AND the nipple shield positioned just right, I would never let down.  It just wasn't working.

By the time Lily was 2 months old, she was so used to the bottle that I was mostly pumping and bottle feeding.  The nipple shield was still a must.  Any attempt to nurse without it, Lily would push away and cry.  She would still nurse at night and a couple times during the day, but for the most part, she wanted the instant gratification that came with bottle feeding.

The amount of milk I could express with pumping topped out at 3 ounces in a session and worked its way down to 5 mL in a day.  Lily became less and less satisfied after each feeding until one night, I sat down to feed her, and she refused to take the breast.  I hand expressed some milk in hopes it would entice her.  She still refused.  Her fusses turned to screams as I continued to offer her the breast, and finally I broke down and yelled for my boyfriend to make her a bottle.  She finished the whole thing in no time, while I sat - attached to my Pump in Style, feeling like a cow.  It was over.  I failed.

Day after day, and night after night, I continued to offer my breast.  Occasionally, she would take it, and as a sense of relief would flow over me, she would break her latch and scream.  I spent countless hours writing back and forth with the awesome ladies at Le Leche League.  I tried everything they could suggest.  Fenugreek, Mother's Milk tea, heat, ice, a shower, bathing with the baby, visualization... the list goes on and on.  My desire to rebuild my supply and re-latch my daughter became an obsession.  I would sit up at night looking for ideas online.  I would mention it at every doctor appointment, only to be told that her health is great and to just keep her on the formula.  I was on the WIC program at the time, and they would say "it's okay, she's doing very well with formula."  My boyfriend was more than okay just knowing she was healthy.  I was dying inside.

Lily will be 6 months old this week. She eats solids twice a day and has a single bottom tooth (razor sharp, by the way!)  About 2 months ago I stopped being able to express any milk while pumping.  I can still hand express, but only the first "squeeze" produces a stream, so I can never catch it.  While I'm beginning to let go of that which I cannot control, I can't help but find myself wishing things were different, and even feeling a little envious of that nursing mom in the next booth over.

I still don't know exactly why I wasn't successful in breastfeeding.  I'm sure I made mistakes and I know there are many, many things I could have done differently and will do differently the next time around.  For now, I can only move forward.  I can't go back to the beginning and re-establish a better start at nursing.  But, I am NOT a bad mom.  My daughter is healthy, happy, growing at a steady rate and meeting or exceeding all of her developmental milestones.  She loves me and I love her.  We have a bond even without breast feeding.  I know it isn't this hard for everyone, and if it came naturally to you, that is AWESOME... but please, don't put down another woman who has a tougher time.  You haven't walked in her shoes any more than she has walked in yours.  For the moms out there like me, you are NOT alone.  You have NOT failed.  You are NOT a "Bad Mom".

Bad Mom (Part I)

While I was pregnant, I looked forward to breastfeeding.  I wanted to be that mom who could [discretely] whip out her boob in a crowded room, latch her baby, and feed her all she can eat, whenever she wants it.  I was determined  to feed and pump and do everything in my power to exclusively breast feed my little bundle of joy.

My mom couldn't do it.  My sister couldn't do it.  I thought to myself... "Maybe they gave up too soon."  After all, you go to the classes and they tell you if you do this, that or the other thing, breastfeeding is easy.

I call "bull"!  I had EVERY intention of breastfeeding my baby, and at nearly 6 months postpartum, I feel cheated.  I feel like I missed out on my natural right as a woman.  I feel like a failure.  I've asked myself again & again...  What did I do wrong?  I've even called myself a bad mom - all because I couldn't breastfeed. But, it isn't my fault.

At 39 weeks, 1 day gestation I was induced due to preeclampsia.  I was in labor for 36 hours before my water broke, then another 14.5 before Lily's heart rate dropped for a 3rd time and I was put under anesthesia for an emergency cesarean delivery.  (I'll post my birth story at some point.)  Thanks to the need for general anesthesia, I didn't meet my daughter until she was 2 hours old!  At 5:15 pm on Wednesday, August 28, 2013, I took in the view of the hospital ceiling through tear-blurred eyes as I was wheeled into my labor and delivery room where my boyfriend was waiting with our daughter.  By this time, the majority of the things I had asked for in my birth plan had been scratched off the list.  In a hurry to move me to a new room in a different wing of the hospital (all because I had a c-section!), my nurse suggested I order my dinner before the kitchen closed, performed my baby's first bath and other new born procedures they had put off until my arrival, and then - with only a couple minutes to spare before my time in the room was up - get Lily to latch for our first attempt at breastfeeding.  My plans for this moment were to go skin to skin and allow Lily to make her way to my breast on her own time.  This was what I thought our first 2 hours of her life on earth would be.  One more thing to scratch off the birth plan!  Running out of time, the nurse helped me to position baby to my naked breast, then - as I was moving her to my nipple - he placed a nipple shield and put her little mouth over it.

I was stunned.  I didn't know my nipples were considered flat!  My entire pregnancy, they protruded through every bra I owned and it seemed as if they could cut glass!  But they were flat?  I needed a nipple shield to feed my daughter?  I didn't want one, but if I need one.... OK?  It worked out.  She ate from that first breast and fell asleep on the job.  Then we were off to the new room.

In the wing we were moved to, we were assigned to a new nurse.  I ate my [now cold] grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup, took my first dose of pain medication, made my arm available for blood pressure readings and got ready to feed my girl again.  Again, the nipple shield was slapped onto the opposite breast.  The baby ate, and her daddy and I were instructed to make notes on the white board (which wasn't always easy, considering he wasn't always available and I couldn't walk again yet).

Most of the 48 hours I spent in the hospital post-delivery are foggy in my memory.  I had help from a lactation consultant who would say it was important to get rid of the nipple shield.  I would work at getting Lily to latch without it - she would cry and I would cry.  Then, a nurse would come and say we need to use the nipple shield.  It got confusing!

While Lily was under the bili-lights, I was instructed by the nurses to go 4 hours between feedings, so she could get what she needed from the lights.  Loved ones would come to visit and see the new addition and I would clam up and be unable to latch Lily.  Both of us were exhausted from our ordeal and would drift off to dreamland mid-feeding.  Challenge after challenge, I felt that I was losing some great battle.

At home we did well.  My milk came in at 5 days postpartum and I thought "OK, I've got this.  I can do this!"  We got into a groove and we made it work.  She was pooping and peeing the way "they" said she should and things were going well, except that I still couldn't get her to latch without the nipple shield!

At her first pediatrician appointment, almost a week after her birth (thanks to an insurance issue!), we were told that she had lost too much weight.  In addition, her jaundice had not left her system yet.  The doctor was concerned and suggested we begin to supplement.  I had prepared for this.  My boyfriend and I had discussed this.  We knew that breast milk is best, and that sometimes it is hard to get going, but we were going to give it our all before we supplemented.  At that moment, we both agreed to supplement.  We didn't want to starve our baby, or keep her jaundice from leaving her system.

That night, we fed Lily her first bottle - which was both a blessing, and a curse.

Valentine's Day

The posts on facebook are flowing in from all directions.  "I hate Valentine's Day", "Happy Single Awarness Day", "I don't understand why people only celebrate their love on this one day."  Well, I have some thoughts.   When I was a little girl, my dad always made Valentine's a special day for my siblings and I.  We would come home to a small present and eat our favorite foods for dinner.  Desert was an ice cream cake from DQ.  In high school, while my dad was still working hard to make it special, I would tell everyone I hated Valentine's Day.  Secretly, I loved the holiday.  The hearts, the pink & red, the flowers - not so much the boxes of chocolate with that gross coconut center - but you catch the drift.  There was something about it that just made me happy.
At 16, when I finally had my first boyfriend, and we were going to spend our first Valentine's Day together, he dumped me.  On Valentine's Day.  I was heart broken.  Still, I made the most of it.  I bought myself my favorite candy.  I flew to Arizona to visit my grandparents.  I exchanged Valentine's with them.  I sang songs about girl power instead of love songs.
At 18 I finally had another boyfriend (yea - I was shy, and was waiting for one guy to realize I existed - ha!).  Our first Valentine's came up and he wanted to buy me an engagement ring.  He had asked months earlier, but I didn't have a ring.  We went to Kay Jewelers.  He showed the guy a coupon and I tried on the ring.  I asked him how it looked and he got mad at me for asking and walked out.  I bought the ring myself (I  know, I know).  Happy Valentine's Day, right?  Ok - so that time it kinda sucked, but it wasn't the day's fault.  It was the guy's fault for being an ass.
At 21, same sorta thing, my 3rd boyfriend ever ditched me on Valentines day to hang with his buddies.  By that time I had learned to cope.  I took myself out to a movie, ate all the chocolate I wanted, had a  quiet dinner alone, and ended the night with a nice bubble bath and a glass of wine.  It was years before I had someone to share that day with again, and I learned that as long as I have love for me, I already have a Valentine.
There's something very calming about going to dinner and a movie alone.  Yea, haters gonna hate.  You get some dirty looks and strangers might come up to you and tell you they're sorry - umm, ok - but really, it is what you make it.

Today is the 5th Valentine's Day I have spent with the father of my child, the love of my life, and my [someday] husband.  Each year he cooks me my favorite meal, buys me a new wine to try, and surprises me with a rose. We always spend it at home.  The point is that we are together and we are making time for us as a couple - which isn't always easy once you have a baby!  The thing is, that aside from the "For My Valentine" sticker on the rose vase and the increased price on - well, everything - it is no different from any other random day we choose to share a token of our love.
The point is, that where there is love, there is a Valentine.  Everyone has one if they only look inside.

Those Not-So-Awesome Pearly Whites...

My lovely little Lily is nearly 6 months old!  Her poor little mouth is ready to expose those pearly whites, and nobody here is enjoying it!  Today was the worst day yet... I tried just about everything there is to try and my sweet baby could not find relief.  My normally wonderful napper slept no more than 20 minutes, and when she was awake she was mostly a cranky little mess, with the exception of some very precious moments.

(How cute is that little face?)

She wants all the things, and she wants them in her mouth... Sophie giraffe brings a smile for a minute, until she throws her in frustration.  The bug-a-loop gets a lot of use too, but she gets frustrated with that as well. If a finger goes anywhere near her, watch out!  She will take that finger and bite like crazy or scream like heck! Ora-jel made it possible for her to finish her bottle - slowly, but surely - and the 20 minute nap? Brought to you by Tylenol!  The list goes on... tomorrow we will try some frozen bananas in the mesh feeder. Thankfully, a day without her usual 3 hour nap led to an easy bed time.  So far, so good!  Now, this exhausted mama needs some sleep, before we do this all over again, tomorrow.

What's in a Name?

You never really think about the importance of a name until you need to think of one for another human being.  That name you choose is what they will be called for their whole life (or for the first 18 years if they really hate it and have it changed).  When Chris & I found out we were expecting and began thinking of names for boys and girls we found it to be quite the challenge. He hated everything I had on my list.  I found flaws in all of his ideas (really? James?  I'm Jamie, your cousin is Jamison/ Jamie... you want to add to the confusion? I think not!).  We decided to start listing off every name in our family tree.   For a girl we decided on Lillian Margarite.  My mother's Nana was Lillian Rebecca.  I have her middle name.  My Nana was Sharon Margarite. My daughter now has her middle name.  Yep, we had a girl!  And good thing too, because we were close to having a son named "Boy".

Once I decided to write this blog, I began thinking of names.  It was almost as difficult as choosing one for my daughter.  Every time I thought of a title that sounded clever and witty, I would google it and find some other blog with the same title.  I wanted something short, but catchy.  I tried "Mommy Wants Coffee" and "Imperfectly Perfect".... both taken.  Someone suggested I use mine or my daughter's name.  I didn't want some generic blog title, like "Jamie's Blog" or "Dear, Jamie's Diary".  I finally decided on mixing my daughter's nick name with a slang word for house or home... Lily (short for Lillian) and Pad (for home).  I preceded those choices with Life, because it is, after all, about my life.  And thus, "Life on the Lily Pad" was born. 
It's taken me a while to get a post up here, and I know I fell far behind with my previous blog "Every Day a Journey," but I am hoping to write quite a bit more.  So, please read and enjoy my little adventure as a mommy!