Baby Tour 2014: Days 4-7 (Prescott, AZ)

The drive from Las Vegas to Prescott was familiar and fairly short to the jaunts we took earlier in our trip. Lily slept most of the way and we only had to stop once to feed and change her.

We reached Mamaw & Pampaw's home about 3pm on Monday and Lily was instantly attached. It was as if she had known them this whole time! She even cried when Mamaw left the room a couple times.

On Tuesday, Chris, Lily & I went into town to visit the Sharlot Hall museum. It was a wonderful way to spend our morning! The volunteers who run the exhibits were very knowledgeable and obviously passionate about the history of Arizona, particularly Prescott. Chris made his delicious Chicken Parmesan for dinner that night.

Wednesday was a day for relaxing and prepping for the remainder of our trip. I spent te day re-packing while Chris helped Mamaw and Pampaw with a couple things. Later on, Lily stayed with her great grandparents while Chris and I made a Costco run and took the car to be washed. It was nice to have a moment alone together, even if it was to run errands.

Thursday came too soon and we said our goodbyes. It broke my heart to take Lily from them, but we have more places to go and people to see! 

By late afternoon we were in Cathedral City visiting my friend, Crystal & her two kids. It was nice catching up, but before long, we were off to Palm Springs for dinner with Chris's aunt Linda and her husband, also Chris. 

We ate at an authentic Mexican restaurant on Indian Canyon Drive, the original Las Consuela. It was AMAZING! I had prawn & mushroom stuffed yellow chilis covered in melted jack chees... So good! After dinner we walked through Villiage fest and looked at all the cool pieces of art for sale. 

It was nearly 10pm when we finally set out for Anaheim. Luckily, this meant there was very little traffic and we made it in wonderful time. I'm currently here in our room at the Castle Inn & Suites - right across from Disneyland. Tomorrow will be exciting! I doubt I will have time to update again until Saturday. Until then... :)

Baby Tour 2014: Day 3/4 (Viva Las Vegas)

We arrived in Vegas around 5:30pm and thought we'd come in on the strip. By the time we made it to the Excalibur we decided to park and grab dinner before heading to our hotel. We parked at the New York, New York and ate at the Sporting House where they had a $17.95 Sunday night special for Prime Rib... It was amazing! Even better, when we went to pay we found it had been covered by a friend we ran into while there! 

After a short walk we headed to our room at the 4 Queens on Fremont Street. We cruised the strip to get there and were very frustrated with the difficulty in finding their parking garage! It took around an hour to wiggle our way through taxi cabs and your busses.

When we finally arrived we dropped off our luggage, changed Lily into pajamas and headed outside. Our room was much nicer than expected. It turned out to be a suite! The hotel itself was really disappointing. 

Fremont street was like one big, crazy party! I had expected things to be mellow compared to the strip, but it actually seemed rowdier! There were even women dressed as naked nuns... Bizarre! Walking down the street, people kept stopping to look at Lily. A couple of Japanese women even stopped to take her picture! We tried to make it into the Golden Gate before we were stopped by security and told we couldn't walk through with Lily. He said "but MY GOD is she BEAUTIFUL!!! That baby needs to be on TV!" 

We had another early start and grabbed some breakfast at Denny's.  Lily had small pieces of blue berry pancakes and chunks of banana. Chris asked her, "would you like some banana?" She replied "baaaa nananana!!!" Then while she ate it she would say "mmmm banananana!" So cute! After breakfast we loaded the car and headed out. 

Next stop... Prescott, AZ where Lily will meet her great Mamaw & Pampaw! 

Baby Tour 2014: Day 3 (Vegas, Baby!)

I was up at 6:30 this morning to feed Lily. Rather than going back to sleep, she was wide awake and ready to play. After she gulped down her bottle, I set her in the pack n' play with some toys and got to packing everything up.

We were checked out and on the road by 8:30am - coffee in hand! We fueled up at the local Costco, and soon after getting on the freeway, Lily was out (yay!). 50 miles later, we realized we missed our turn off! We were headed northeast instead south! It's all good though, we took the next turn we found and got back in line with our route. (What's a road trip without a little mishap to keep things memorable?)

Along the way we saw steam rising out if the desert from hot springs, a stellar view of the mountains and a beautiful body of water, Walker Lake. We made a quick pit stop on a gorgeous tree lined road in Fallon called Dodger Lane. I love taking road trips. You don't get to see these things if you're in a plane. 

We stopped for lunch in Tonopah. It was a refreshing 45 minute break. A little ways out of Tonopah was Goldfield, a tiny little ghost town in the Yucca mountain area. The homes were actual shacks with cars parked out front. The shells of what were once stores and motels dotted the area. It was really pretty sad, but kind of beautiful. 

Lily has been such a great little traveler thus far... She only cries when she is hungry or needs changed. Otherwise, she is playing with her toys, talking to her doll, or sleeping soundly.

*** We made it to Vegas! Will update in the morning :)***

Baby Tour 2014: Day 2 (Circus! Circus!)

***If you haven't read my previous 2 posts, you might want to do so before reading this one.***

We pulled in to the Circus Circus parking garage in Reno at exactly 6:00pm. Lily was so fascinated by all of the lights, mirrors, colors and people that she didn't know where to look. She kept bouncing in my arms and squealing with joy. She made friends everywhere we went. 

After hauling the massive amount of stuff to our room (ok - Chris did this part. Not me!) we had dinner and walked around the hotel. I like the fact that the Silver Legacy and the Eldorado are connect to the Circus Circus. We got the chance to see a few places in Reno in a short amount of time with out ever stepping foot outside. It was nice because Lily slept in her stroller while we walked and we weren't bound to our hotel room. By 9pm I was ready for bed. We went upstairs and got Lily settled. Chris went to explore the casino a bit more and play some black jack... He came back to the room $20 richer!

The funniest thing about walking around was the mixed reactions to Chris's Seahawks hat and T-shirt. One woman said she was very happy for our team. All though she was a broncos fan, she felt Seattle was due for their Super Bowl win. Not 2 minutes after walking away from her, a man stopped us and said "49'rs Baby! You lucky you pushin a stroller guy!" A few minutes after that encounter another man said "Hawks fan, huh? Niners all the way! But what're you gonna do? That NFC West championship game was a great game and their both awesome teams." Pretty fun (and a little scary at times) to hear the different opinions. 

***Day 3 to come soon!***

Baby Tour 2014: Day 1

After months of planning , the day arrived... Our first family vacation! We must have lost our minds, because we decided to travel thousands of miles, through 5 states in a car - with an 8 month old! Needless to say, this won't be an easy feat, and so far it's.... Okay.

A day sooner I finished packing our bags, filled up the gas tank, and took the car to be washed. After wrapping everything up with work and lying Lily down for her morning nap, I loaded the car and soon, we were off! 

We had to first stop at Costco to pick up my brand new prescription sunglasses. It's so nice to see! After that and a bite from the food court, we took highway 18 to I-5 South. It took about 2 hours before one of us felt like our bladder would burst. We pulled over at a rest area near Longview, WA to use the facilities and let Lily have some play time. She was more interested in the lilac bush and the little asteraceae flowers than anything else. 

As we crossed over the bridge into Oregon I took pictures of Lily entering a state outside of her home for her first time (I know - it's a little over the top!) Then came the Portland traffic... This part set us back 3 hours.

Eventually, we made it to Eugene where filled up our gas tank and ate dinner at the ever so fancy - Taco Bell. I wouldn't even be writing about our dinner in this entry, except for the fact that something pretty awesome happened as I fed Lily her bananas and squash. This lovely couple had been commenting on how cute our daughter was. They said their grandson is the same age and for some reason she just reminded them of him. As they were walking out, they laid a $20 bill on our table and told us to enjoy our next meal in them. We thanked them for their generosity while in shock - and they left. We don't know their names or their story, but it was nice to see something so selfless. 

A few hours later we turned off of the freeway onto a scenic byway that would lead us to our destination. We reached the little town of Shady Cove, nestled in the woods along the Rogue River near 11:00pm. We checked into our room at the Edgewater Inn and settled in for the night..... (To be continued)

Baby Tour 2014: Day 2 (The Road to Reno)

After arriving at our hotel so late last night, we were exhausted and ready to sleep... Not Lily! She wanted to play. I can't blame the poor girl... After all, it had been 10 hours since we left our home.

We fed her, changed her, put her in her pajamas and let her play on the floor with her toys until she was sleepy again. There was room in the hallway near the bathroom for Lily's pack n' play, which made it easy to put her down with her monkey and glow worm. We all got a fairly good night's sleep and were pretty impressed with everything about the hotel. 

The continental breakfast wasn't anything special, but it worked well for us. Bagels with cream cheese, pastries, fresh fruit, juice and coffee. We didn't stay for long after showering and getting ready for the day. I re-stocked the diaper bag while Chris re-loaded the car. We were on the road to Crater Lake by 10:00am. 

Lily slept the whole way to the park. The scenery was beautiful - lush green forests, snow piled high along the dry roads, tons of deer and other wildlife. It was about 45 degrees when we arrived at Rim Villiage. We hiked up a short snow bluff with Lily in the Baby Bjorne to see the lake. It was beautiful. Bright, colbalt blue glacier waters surrounded by snow covered banks. We stayed long enough to snap some photos, then we headed to the gift shop for lunch. After some sandwiches for us, some apricots for Lily & a couple souvenirs from the gift shop, we were on our way once again. 

We planned to stop in Kalamath Falls, but Lily was sound asleep, so we pushed through the California border, where we immediately saw the biggest dust devil I've ever seen, followed by a tumbling tumble weed.  We drove until we reached Adin, since Lily was content playing in her car seat. The town was small, with a population of 276. The only place to stop was a little general store where the patrons gave us dirty looks for - what we can only assume is - wearing our Seahawks gear in Niners country. Ha ha. After a quick diaper change (on a changing mat, on top of the bags in the trunk of the car) and a re-up on cold beverages, we were back on the road. Of course, 15 miles down twisty, turny, worn-out roads, and our precious Lily was screaming. After singing "Lily had a little lamb" wayyyy too many times, we found a safe place to stop and pull over. I got into the backseat with her and she was perfectly happy once again. We made it all the way to Reno, just like this!

***Read my upcoming blog post for more on Reno and our stay at the Circus Circus***

Bad Mom (Part 2)

Picking up where I left off with my previous post, "Bad Mom (Part 1)", giving Lily her first bottle was both a blessing and a curse....

On the positive side, when she took a bottle I could see how many ounces she was drinking.  I knew she got enough.  Also, her dad could feed her too, which gave me some time for much needed naps. (It's not easy recovering from surgery in general, add to that no sleep and you've got a recipe for disaster.)

Anytime we were home, I would breast feed Lily until she decided she was done and then pump.  I knew that this was a good way to build supply.  At our bedtime she would take a bottle from her daddy while I would pump.  I would still take all of the night feedings and "top her off" with the bottle if she was still hungry after being offered both breasts twice.

A HUGE problem I had was that I couldn't feed her in public, or even when we had people over.  I have always been very shy, but I thought I could get over it for my baby.  I couldn't.  I tried... I would put on the nursing cover, unstrap my bra, get Lily positioned and then as soon as I would start to get the nipple shield in place, everything would fall apart.  The shield would wind up in the wrong spot, I'd end up with a blister, and Lily would end up screaming.  I kept thinking, this will be a LOT easier without the nipple shield!  I still think it would have, but that would never happen.  Even if everything worked out great and I got her AND the nipple shield positioned just right, I would never let down.  It just wasn't working.

By the time Lily was 2 months old, she was so used to the bottle that I was mostly pumping and bottle feeding.  The nipple shield was still a must.  Any attempt to nurse without it, Lily would push away and cry.  She would still nurse at night and a couple times during the day, but for the most part, she wanted the instant gratification that came with bottle feeding.

The amount of milk I could express with pumping topped out at 3 ounces in a session and worked its way down to 5 mL in a day.  Lily became less and less satisfied after each feeding until one night, I sat down to feed her, and she refused to take the breast.  I hand expressed some milk in hopes it would entice her.  She still refused.  Her fusses turned to screams as I continued to offer her the breast, and finally I broke down and yelled for my boyfriend to make her a bottle.  She finished the whole thing in no time, while I sat - attached to my Pump in Style, feeling like a cow.  It was over.  I failed.

Day after day, and night after night, I continued to offer my breast.  Occasionally, she would take it, and as a sense of relief would flow over me, she would break her latch and scream.  I spent countless hours writing back and forth with the awesome ladies at Le Leche League.  I tried everything they could suggest.  Fenugreek, Mother's Milk tea, heat, ice, a shower, bathing with the baby, visualization... the list goes on and on.  My desire to rebuild my supply and re-latch my daughter became an obsession.  I would sit up at night looking for ideas online.  I would mention it at every doctor appointment, only to be told that her health is great and to just keep her on the formula.  I was on the WIC program at the time, and they would say "it's okay, she's doing very well with formula."  My boyfriend was more than okay just knowing she was healthy.  I was dying inside.

Lily will be 6 months old this week. She eats solids twice a day and has a single bottom tooth (razor sharp, by the way!)  About 2 months ago I stopped being able to express any milk while pumping.  I can still hand express, but only the first "squeeze" produces a stream, so I can never catch it.  While I'm beginning to let go of that which I cannot control, I can't help but find myself wishing things were different, and even feeling a little envious of that nursing mom in the next booth over.

I still don't know exactly why I wasn't successful in breastfeeding.  I'm sure I made mistakes and I know there are many, many things I could have done differently and will do differently the next time around.  For now, I can only move forward.  I can't go back to the beginning and re-establish a better start at nursing.  But, I am NOT a bad mom.  My daughter is healthy, happy, growing at a steady rate and meeting or exceeding all of her developmental milestones.  She loves me and I love her.  We have a bond even without breast feeding.  I know it isn't this hard for everyone, and if it came naturally to you, that is AWESOME... but please, don't put down another woman who has a tougher time.  You haven't walked in her shoes any more than she has walked in yours.  For the moms out there like me, you are NOT alone.  You have NOT failed.  You are NOT a "Bad Mom".